Non-finite clause

Hi there :)

For my graduate statement of purpose, I tried to write something like "I want to make this very interesting, therefore I work together with a lot of people" (oversimplified).

I came up with this formulation, but as a non-native speaker, I am not sure, whether this is grammatically correct and conveys the meaning I intended. Also, I am unsure whether "build" the best verb in this sentence:

Driven by these challenges, I founded Big Ethics, a project, where I visit schools to provide information about big data and artificial intelligence. To make this as revealing and comprehensive as possible, I build my material together with academics and professionals from a variety of fields.

Any help would be highly appreciated :)

Best
Alex

Answers

  • a project, where -> a project in which

    I build my material -> I built my material [built being the past tense of build]

  • To make this as revealing and comprehensive as possible, I build my material together with academics and professionals from a variety of fields.

    The main problem I see is the word build — both the verb itself and the PRESENT SIMPLE form.

    A much better verb is assemble.

    The PRESENT SIMPLE suggests 'sometimes' or 'from time to time'.

    Do you mean 'always'? If so write something like

    ...my practice is to assemble...

    Or can you make a more informative time reference? For example

    I have assembled
    I have always assembled
    I have sought to assemble
    I am currently assembling
    I propose to assemble

    A lesser problem is the word material. Do you mean data? Evidence? Ideas? Approaches?

    AFTERTHOUGHT
    Perhaps you don't mean 'combine my stuff with other people's stuff'.

    If you mean 'work out my stuff with the help of other people's stuff', then a better verb would be formulate. For example

    I propose to formulate my [?] in collaboration with...

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