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Is this sentence grammatically correct?

A Slovak student, determined to master digital painting, shares his art journey.

Or is there any more creative way to say it?

Comments

  • It's impossible to comment on the sentence without knowing the context. Are there other sentences before or after it? Is there a picture with it?

    Without this information, I don't know whether the PRESENT SIMPLE shares is appropriate.

    There may also be a problem with the word journey. And possibly with the word art.

  • Hi, I would prefer to say this way:

    A Slovak student, devoted himself to master digital painting, shares his art journey.

    But I agree that word "art" here seems a little inappropriate. Maybe you should try to rephrase it with the help of grammarly or robotdon online tools? As I know, they have such functions like rephrasing and grammar check.

  • edited December 2018
  • @eloisabgrifin, your sentence as written is unacceptable.
    The two commas signal that it is constructed like pavagorn's original — ie a FINITE CLAUSE with a NON-FINITE CLAUSE inserted.

    pavagorn's sentence
    FINITE A Slovak student shares his art journey
    NON-FINITE determined to master digital paining

    your sentence
    FINITE A Slovak student shares his art journey
    NON-FINITE devoted himself to master digital painting

    The problem with this is your inserted clause is FINITE.
    The -ed form can be used for an inserted clause only if it is PASSIVE in meaning.
    But devoted himself is ACTIVE and FINITE.

    The FINITE verb form devoted himself can combine only with A Slovak student as SUBJECT.
    English punctuation rules are sometimes flexible, but you can never have a comma between the SUBJECT and a FINITE VERB.

    If you remove the first comma, you get what is called a spliced-comma sentence.
    This means a sentence with a comma instead of and.
    So
    A Slovak student devoted himself to master digital painting, shares his art journey.
    would be the same as
    A Slovak student devoted himself to master digital painting and shares his art journey.

    Many people say think that spliced-comma sentences are always wrong.
    I never use them myself, but I sometimes find them acceptable.
    But I'm not happy with one with PAST SIMPLE followed by PRESENT SIMPLE.

    AFTERTHOUGHT
    himself devoted to mastering digital painting
    would be grammatically acceptable as a NON-FINITE CLAUSE — but wouldn't make much sense because there is no person contrasted with himself.

  • edited January 8

    I always had this impatient desire to test my extremities by taking up challenging projects which could provide me breadth to delve the technical and practical facets of the theory that I have learned.
    ( i wonder that the words are redundant. I'm in 50-50 can decide whether the sentence can be written like that are not...because technical aspect is what actually involved in a subjects theory... so, please comment and correct me. :smile: )

  • @manoj21015, the sentence is complicated because the thought is complicated.

    It could be improved.

    • Extremities means 'hands and feet'. I suspect that the writer means 'limits'.
    • Breadth is awkward. i would prefer scope.
    • Delve is a poetic word. For this style of writing I would prefer explore.
    • In any case, delve should be followed by into.
    • I'm not sure about facets. i would prefer aspects or features.
    • The PRESENT PERFECT I have learned is strange after PAST SIMPLE which could provide me
    • The phrase that I have learned changes the subject in a rather confusing way.
      I would prefer the theory involved or the theory behind them.

    • In any case, I don't think learned is what the writer means. Studied might be better.

    i wonder that the words are redundant.

    This means that all the words are redundant. I don't think this is what you mean.

    I'm in 50-50 can decide

    The grammar is wrong and the sense is wrong.
    You mean that you can't decide.
    A phrase that might express what you mean is I'm in two minds.

    There are several errors in because technical aspect is what actually involved in a subjects theory

    • You need an ARTICLE — a or the — or perhaps the word some before technical aspect
    • You need a FINITE VERB before involved — probably what is actually involved
    • a subjects theory is not grammatical, and I can't guess what you want it to mean.
      If you mean 'technical features are part of a theory', then I disagree.
  • @DavidCrosbie said:
    @eloisabgrifin, your sentence as written is unacceptable.
    The two commas signal that it is constructed like pavagorn's original — ie a FINITE CLAUSE with a NON-FINITE CLAUSE inserted.

    pavagorn's sentence
    FINITE A Slovak student shares his art journey
    NON-FINITE determined to master digital paining

    your sentence
    FINITE A Slovak student shares his art journey
    NON-FINITE devoted himself to master digital painting

    The problem with this is your inserted clause is FINITE.
    The -ed form can be used for an inserted clause only if it is PASSIVE in meaning.
    But devoted himself is ACTIVE and FINITE.

    The FINITE verb form devoted himself can combine only with A Slovak student as SUBJECT.
    English punctuation rules are sometimes flexible, but you can never have a comma between the SUBJECT and a FINITE VERB.

    If you remove the first comma, you get what is called a spliced-comma sentence.
    This means a sentence with a comma instead of and.
    So
    A Slovak student devoted himself to master digital painting, shares his art journey.
    would be the same as
    A Slovak student devoted himself to master digital painting and shares his art journey.

    Many people say think that spliced-comma sentences are always wrong.
    I never use them myself, but I sometimes find them acceptable.
    But I'm not happy with one with PAST SIMPLE followed by PRESENT SIMPLE.

    AFTERTHOUGHT
    himself devoted to mastering digital painting
    would be grammatically acceptable as a NON-FINITE CLAUSE — but wouldn't make much sense because there is no person contrasted with himself.

  • Pavagorn's sentence is grammatically correct; it appears to reference a topic or scene that is being discussed.

  • @rudiapoll950, I still have difficulty with the PRESENT SIMPLE 'shares'.

    And there's something wrong with 'art journey', whether or not you call that wrongness grammatical.

    The linguist Noam Chomsky argued years ago that a sentence can be grammatical but meaningless. His famous example was

    Colourless green ideas sleep furiously.

    it appears to reference a topic or scene that is being discussed

    We can only guess that this is the writer's intention. On its own the sentence communicates no reference at all. It may not be entirely meaningless — but it makes no sense.

    If we could see what's being referred to (assuming that there is something), then we can judge whether the grammar is appropriate or not.

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